21 Uplifting Ideas: How to Find Yourself Again in a Relationship

What are the signs you have lost yourself in a relationship?

Are you at the stage in your life where you are wondering how you can find yourself again in a relationship? Are you wondering how everything has changed so much and what happened to you?

Relationships are tricky to navigate and take work and commitment. In the beginning, everything seems so easy, it’s all romance, laughter, shared enjoyment and excitement but people can lose themselves in relationships very quickly if they aren’t careful and then problems can begin to arise and relationships can start to break down.

There are subtle signs this is happening. You may begin to feel some resentment toward your partner but you don’t understand why.

You can begin to feel dissatisfied with your life, feel depressed, unhappy or feel you have lost your spark. Day-to-day tasks can be a strain and you may feel the future looks bleaker or you have lost direction.

Can you find yourself again while in a relationship?

If any of the above feels familiar to you, it could be you need to take stock of your life and begin to implement some changes.

You need to take care of your relationships, they require work and maintenance the same as everything else in life.

Think of them as a plant. If you don’t nurture a plant, give it water, light and warmth, it will wilt and perish. You and your relationships need the same TLC in order to grow and thrive.

You are important, and in order for your relationships to be healthy and happy, you have to understand this. You must remind yourself you are important and valued and you have to take care of your emotional health as well as your physical health.

You can quickly find yourself again in a relationship if you spend time and remind yourself of how you used to be. What were the things you loved to do? What was it that made you fall in love with the person you are with? What were your connections and joining interests?

Take some time to remember the person you used to be.

How do I become myself again in a relationship?

Feeling lost in a relationship is all too common in life. Many people will feel like this at some stage or another and yet not every relationship breaks down.

Being able to rediscover yourself can make your relationship happier and stronger than it was before.

The trick to this is knowing how to rediscover yourself and then implement change.

Below is a list of ways you can begin to bring about change in your life and what you can do to help you rediscover YOU.

21 Uplifting Ideas

1. Be truthful with yourself regarding your feelings

To fully understand how you feel and why you are feeling this way, you need to be honest with yourself. If you are telling yourself everything is ok and are just ploughing on then you are only ever going to get more and more lost. This is where you need to be truthful Fully admit to yourself what your feelings are and how long you have had them.

Once you have truly admitted to yourself there needs to be change you can then go about implementing it.

2. Learn how to love yourself again

Have you fallen out of love with yourself? This may seem like a strange question and one you are uncomfortable with but you need to love yourself in order for other people to love and appreciate you.

Learn how to love yourself again. Treat yourself the way you treat other people. Be kind and caring toward yourself and be appreciative of who you are and the qualities you have.

3. Make sure you give each other a little space

Everyone needs space in life to flourish and grow. Make sure you give each other space in your relationship to.

If you never have time away from each other to undertake your own hobbies and interests you will quickly become stifled and start to lose your sense of self.

Plan time in your day when you’re free to do whatever you want to do. Have hobbies and interests you do on your own or with friends. This will help you to flourish.

4. Be More Social

Have you found over time your social life has dwindled and it is now just the two of you doing everything together? This is never a healthy sign for a relationship. You need your own social life and to spend some time apart. Try to reconnect with friends, go out and join groups, get involved in your community, and become more sociable in your life.

5. Redefine your personal goals

Do you have personal goals? Think back to how you were and what goals you set for yourself. What were your dreams and ambitions? What did you want to do in life and where did you want to be by this stage in your life? By asking yourself these questions, you can begin to redefine your personal goals, and some new challenges to excite and invigorate you.

6. Set up a self-care routine

Have you become less important in your life? Are you looking after everyone else and forgetting about yourself? Start to set up a self-care routine in your day.

Spend time thinking about your mental and physical health. Join the gym, meditate, and spend some time each day doing something you love.

Begin to reconnect with yourself and make yourself a priority in your life.

7 . Make a list of things you're passionate about in life

Take some time and write a list of things you are passionate about. As you age, your passions and interests can fall away. Remember when you were younger, all of the things you would have loved to do? As you get jobs, families and commitments, your passions and interests can fade. Make it a priority to revisit your passions.

8. Forgive yourself and your partner for any failings in life

Nobody is perfect and nobody will ever be perfect. You can’t expect your partner to be flawless and you will never be either. Part of being in a strong, committed relationship is understanding this and being able to forgive your partner for any failings in life.

If you put someone on a pedestal, they will only ever disappoint you when they do something wrong. Learn to forgive and life will be much happier and your relationships will be stronger.

9. Stand up for your own beliefs and ideas

You will have your own beliefs and ideas the same as the people around you.

You need to be able to stand up for your beliefs and ideas in your relationships. Never let anyone tell you how to think or behave or what to believe.

If you feel strongly about something say so, don’t be cowed by another person, this is one of the quickest ways to lose your sense of self.

10. Realise that you can choose to be happy

Happiness is a choice and you can choose to be happy. What you think will determine how you feel so begin to think happy thoughts about yourself and your relationships and change will take place. If you are feeling lost in your life, how are you thinking? What are the thoughts you are having? How can you change these thoughts and make them more positive to bring change?

11. Be grateful for everything that's good about your life and relationship

Do you live with gratitude in your life? When you are grateful for everything you have your mindset will make a sudden change. You can’t be unhappy when you are feeling grateful, life doesn’t work like that. Make a list of everything good in your life and in your relationship.

Very quickly, you will begin to see all of the amazing things you have in your life and this will help you to shift your mindset.

Practice gratitude daily until it becomes a part of your routine.

12. Start a new hobby

Is there a hobby or interest you would love to do but have been putting it off? Start today. Life is short and you should spend time doing things which bring you joy.

Hobbies are an amazingly good way of bringing joy and fulfilment to life. They are good for your mental and physical well-being.

Hobbies are a great way of rediscovering who you are. It could be something you used to do or something you have always wanted to try. Either way, a hobby is aligned with your core values and is part of who you are.

Don’t procrastinate, if there is something you would love to do, do it.

13. Take a stroll in nature to de-stress

Spending time in nature is a great way to de-stress and reconnect. Whether alone or with your partner it can be very cathartic and put troubles and worries into perspective.

Practising mindfulness while walking is a good way to remove worries and stress from your life. Focusing on the present moment and finding joy in your immediate life.

14. Learn to step out of your comfort zone

You could feel lost in your life because you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Often your comfort zone isn’t a comfortable place to be in but you stay there because you feel safe even if you aren’t happy. Getting out of your comfort zone can be challenging at first but you can discover so much about yourself and can live a far happier and more aligned life once you do so.

15. Do the things in life which make you happy

Start living your life by doing the things that make you happy and not just everyone else.

You can lose yourself by always focusing on other people. Spend time doing what is fun for you and what you enjoy.

Begin to have a starring role in your life again and get your happiness back.

16. Have a heart-to-heart with your partner to resolve any difficulties

Instead of brushing away any nagging doubts or burying your head in the sand, sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your partner about your relationship and how you are feeling to resolve any difficulties. Problems will never just go away by themselves and there is normally a reason why they appear in the first place. Open communication is the best way to resolve issues and prevent them from becoming major problems.

17. Treat yourself to a weekend away

Introduce some weekends away into your life to reconnect with yourself. Getting away from your usual routine and the same faces can help put a new perspective on your life and the situation you are in.

Time spent alone can be a very cathartic experience in enabling you to delve into your wants and needs and where you see your life going. Going away with your partner can help you to rediscover the people you were when you first met and help you to reconnect.

18. Spend more quality time together

How much quality time do you spend as a couple, away from children elderly relatives, work and household commitments? I bet the answer is not much because many people are limited to how much free time they have in a week and what they do with it.

Start making your relationship a priority, make time to do things you both love and talk to each other about your interests and hobbies, not the mundane day-to-day conversation.

Discuss where you see your life in five years and the joint goals you have.

19. Introduce a regular date night

To recapture the spark you once had in your lives, reintroduce a regular date night. You can so easily lose yourself as you get older, family and work commitments begin to overtake you, and your sense of self and what you were to another person can disappear. Reconnecting with each other on a date can help to remind you of the fun you once used to have and the connection you shared.

20. Set your boundaries don't people please

Everyone needs boundaries in life. The rules you set in order to protect yourself and not be taken for granted. You need them in every area of your life, from work to personal, with colleagues, friends and family members.

Set boundaries so you don’t become a people pleaser and don’t lose your sense of self.

All too often when you do everything for everyone else you can very quickly lose your self-identity. Set boundaries now so this doesn’t happen.

21. Use a life coach to help you find yourself again

Life coaches can be a great asset when you feel you have lost yourself and need to rediscover who you are and your place in a relationship.

A life coach is there to offer you support, and accountability, give you the tools you need to make valuable changes in your life and help you through difficult circumstances without judgement.

They are a neutral aid to help you get to where you want and need to be in life.

Final Thoughts

If you are looking for ways how to find yourself again in a relationship, the above uplifting ideas should be able to help you start getting back on track.

As you get older, it can be all too easy to lose yourself in a relationship.

Life can very quickly take over, other people can become more important and all too soon you can find you are at the bottom of the priority pile in your life.

Start to put yourself first, reconnect with yourself and rediscover why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.

Then decide how you want your future life and relationship to look with you having a starring role. Put plans into action now to have the life you want in the future.

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