15 Simple Things for How to Figure out What Makes You Happy

woman smiling

How do you discover what brings you joy?

We can spend so much of our lives trying to figure out what it is that makes us happy, or that will make us happy in the future.

We are often led to believe in life that following a certain path and achieving set goals will give us everything that we want and that this will lead to us being happy as if in some way, happiness is a goal to be reached, an endpoint in life.

This is not what being happy is about. Happiness is not some final destination or something to be earned once you have put in the hard work, happiness is about living, day to day doing things that you love, that satisfy you, and things that you want to be doing.

woman in a corn field smiling

Life should not be about doing what other people want you to do, serving other people’s expectations, and always putting others first. This is not going to bring happiness into your life.

How many people will be following a career path that they never wanted only because it was the expectation of a parent or partner that got them there?

How many others will be living with someone they don’t love or in a place they don’t like?

Have friends that they have nothing in common with or spend their time running around after children or older relatives just because they feel it is what is expected of them.

In short no doubt at one time or another, we have all been one of those people, but whilst some manage to break free from living just to please others and have found what makes them happy, others are not even sure what happiness looks like to them.

How to discover your happiness mojo.

There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path
— Buddha
woman sitting with group of people smiling

It may not be that you are unhappy all of the time, you may have periods where you feel happy with what you have in life and are grateful for it.

You may also have the attitude that you are lucky for all that you do have in life and that this should make you happy and by not being so you are in some way ungrateful

The truth is happiness looks different for everyone and at different stages in our life, we can experience different states of happiness.

What brings us joy in our early 20s is not going to be the same as in our 50s. Understanding what makes you happy is the key to getting more happiness back into your life.

Most of us on a day-to-day level will have vague feelings of happiness, but just never really take any notice of what is making us happy, and what our thoughts are in relation to what we are feeling. This is where we need to begin.

Happiness is not some abstract feeling that happens to us, it is driven by what we are thinking, whether consciously or subconsciously. To determine what makes you happy and then do more of it, you have to trace your thoughts.

Happiness is a direction, not a place
— Sydney J Harris

How do you discover what brings you joy?

1 Don’t listen to what other people say

Everywhere you look people are telling you what will make you happy; looking a certain way, being a certain weight, looking like the latest celebrity influencer.

Society is telling you all of the time what is going to make you happy.

Buy this car, that will make you happy, holiday in this destination, that will do it for you, and wear these clothes, that will fulfil you.

Earn this amount of money, live in this area in this house, do this job, have these friends……. it goes on and on, a never-ending stream of being told what it is that society deems will make us happy.

The truth is, for many people, material objects will not be what makes them happy, maybe for a short amount of time, but then the feeling will wear off and you will be looking for something else to fill the gap. Instead of listening to what other people tell you what’s going to make you happy, trust in yourself and listen to what you have to say.

woman taking photo with camera in forest

2. Acknowledge what is not making you happy

All too often we do things that make us unhappy because we feel obliged, have no choice in the matter, or because it is a habit that we have gotten into.

Admitting to what doesn’t make us happy, enables us to understand far greater what does make us happy.

If you do something that makes you unhappy out of obligation to someone else, owning up to this and then changing the situation is crucial to your happiness.

You need to remember that you have to put yourself first at times and serve your happiness, otherwise, you can live your life feeling resentful, which aids no one in the end.

3. Learn to relax and meditate on what makes you happy

Taking time out to really think about what makes you happy can be a real eye-opener.

Sometimes, we can miss many opportunities to do things that make us happy, simply because we rush through life without giving ourselves time to really enjoy it. Relaxing and slowing down can highlight the areas that can bring us great happiness.

woman meditating field

4. Rate your days

Writing down in a journal how your day has gone, can quickly highlight what activities in your life make you happy so you can do more of them.

If you write down that you went for a walk that made you feel great, even if your overall day wasn’t, highlighting this area shows that walking makes you happy and shows that this is something that you should do more of.

Often the good points of the day can get swallowed up by the bad, journaling helps you to distinguish between the two.

5. Remember what used to make you happy

We can all look back on life with rose-tinted glasses and think that life was always better when we were younger. Sometimes though that is what we need to do.

smiling woman reading a book

Think back to what really made you happy as a child and try and recreate those memories. Was it going for a bike ride on a sunny day? Reading a good book on a rainy afternoon? Chances are that if it made you happy, it will still make you happy now.

6. Examine what your motivations are in life

What motivates you to act the way you do in life? Is it family, peers or work colleagues? Is it social media or society at large?

Examining what motivates you can help you to really figure out what is making you either happy or unhappy.

If you are living your life to fit in with other people, the chances are you are not living a truly authentic life. You need to begin living your life by what motivates you, this is the way to achieving real and lasting happiness.

7. Try out new hobbies and activities

Trying new hobbies and activities is a great way to discover likes and dislikes and what brings you joy. You never really know until you try something what your reaction to it will be. Experiment with different hobbies until you find ones that really align with your life.

woman sketch pad

8. Be an active member of your community by volunteering

Doing something for other people can often bring more joy and satisfaction than doing something for yourself.

Selfless acts can really boost your mental well-being and can bring a level of happiness into your life that you never knew before.

Go out into your community and see how you can give back by volunteering. There are always various groups that are looking for people to aid them in some capacity, see how you can become involved and the difference it could make to your own life.

9. Develop a more optimistic point of view

group of people socialising

People who are naturally more optimistic will always tend to be happier in life. They will see the good in living and be more open to trying new experiences and experimenting more.

Developing a more optimistic point of view can increase your levels of happiness and life satisfaction immensely.

10. Keep an organised schedule

Being organised and on top of life can aid in your overall happiness. Stressed people will often tend to be more unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives.

Try to be as organised as possible, keeping up to date with household accounts, work commitments and day-to-day routines. This will cut down any residual stress that may affect you and will help to boost your happiness levels.

11. Improve your social life

Although you can be perfectly happy and content with your own company, you can get a real boost to your mental well-being and happiness by socialising.

If you suffer from a lack of social activity in your life, look at ways that you can improve it. There are many online social groups that you can join, many communities have different groups that will meet for social activities. You could also think about starting your own. Whatever way you go about improving your social life, you should see an upturn in your levels of happiness.

12. Learn to live in the present moment

Life can be much happier when you live in the present moment. All too often you can spend time ruminating about things that have happened in your past or worrying about future occurrences before they have even happened. This can bring stress and disharmony to your life and can leave you feeling unhappy and discontented.

Living in the present moment is far more conducive to living a happy and fulfilling life. You can appreciate all that you have in the present moment.

13. Practice gratitude daily

woman bed book tea

Gratitude is without a doubt one of the key tools to being happy. When you are grateful for all that you have in life, it is hard to be unhappy, as you can’t possibly be having happy thoughts and negative emotions at the same time!

Every day make sure that you make a list of all the things that you have in life to be grateful for. You will be amazed at how many things you can add to it.

Even if you feel unhappy because you believe that your life is lacking in some way, practising gratitude for all that you have can only emphasize all the wonderful things in your life that you may take for granted. This change in thinking can only produce happier thoughts and feelings.

14. Carve out time for you

We all need to have time alone. In the world that we live today, life can be so busy that we can lose track of what is important in our lives and what makes us happy.

Spending some time just for yourself is a great way to reconnect with everything that is going on in your life. It is a way to evaluate your life and how you are living it. It can also give you much-needed space from other people and can help you to recharge your batteries.

Never feel pressured by other people, if you want to have some time for yourself, you need to just do it. It is something that as humans we all need to do.

15. Speak to a life coach or therapist

There are many reasons why people can be unhappy or dissatisfied with their lives. Most of us will be able to figure it why we are unhappy in certain situations and will be able to make changes.

Other people will benefit greatly from speaking to a coach or therapist to discover what makes them happy in life.

Sometimes it can be as simple as having someone to listen to you and help you sort through thoughts in your mind. Other times, it could be the use of tools and advice that can help someone discover what it is that makes them happy.

Working with a professional can at times be one of the quickest and simplest ways for someone to discover how to bring happiness into their lives.

Final Thoughts

There are many simple things that you can do to figure out what makes you happy. By putting the tips above into practice you should see an improvement in your happiness levels.

woman hand laughing

Happiness is something that we need to work on. All too often we can take life for granted and miss all the good things that we have around us that are making us happy.

Sometimes we can be striving for what we think will make us happy and again it can be around us without us even realizing it.

Take a good look at your life right now…..are you happier than you think you are? Are you healthy, and have money, a home, and food? Are you surrounded by friends and family who love you? Do you have a job, car, or holiday to look forward to?

There are so many things in life that we have that make us happy it is just that we are always searching for something else that we so often miss everything that is around us.

Working with a coach can often help you to see what it is in your life that you are lacking or why you are not viewing your life in a way that brings you happiness. They can help you work through your thoughts or help you get in the direction that you need to be going to get the happiness back into your life.

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Sharon Crossett

At 50, I walked the path of transformation and now dedicate my life to guiding other women on their journeys to fulfilment.

As an accredited life coach with a diploma in Psychology, NLP, CBT, and certifications in Mindfulness, Meditation, and holistic counselling, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to my practice.

My mission is simple yet profound: to help women get unstuck and create real, lasting change in their lives. I've been there myself, making drastic changes to now live a life I truly love—one that brings me joy and alignment.

This personal experience, combined with my professional expertise, allows me to offer unique insights and strategies to my clients.

If you're ready to transform your life and step into your full potential, I'm here to guide you every step of the way. Book a life coaching course with me, and together, we'll create the joyful, aligned life you deserve

https://www.lifecoachingforwomen.co.uk/meetsharon
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