Is it normal to feel lonely in your 20s?

Many women feel lost at many different stages of their lives. This feeling isn’t reserved for someone in their middle or later years as is more commonly thought, feelings of loneliness and isolation can strike anyone at any age and in any kind of social or economic group.

Feeling lonely in your 20s is a common experience for many young women. This period of life often involves significant changes such as moving away from home, starting a career, or ending relationships.

These major life changes can lead many women to feel lonely and isolated as they try to navigate new directions in their lives.

It is important to remember for anyone experiencing these feelings at this time that it is normal and does not mean there is something wrong with you.

Many individuals in their 20s share similar feelings but may not always express them openly. There sometimes seems to be a stigma about admitting how you feel, especially in the world we now live with so much of life played out on social media, where everyone seems to be living dream lives.

What should I do if I feel lost in my 20s?

Feelings of isolation and loneliness are a common experience for many women in their twenties though at times it can feel as if it is never discussed so finding ways to deal with these emotions can be challenging.

Ways you can address these feelings are to reflect on the interests and hobbies you have.

Evaluate your life values and goals.

Focus on self-care activities and seek guidance from a professional who can help you understand why you are feeling this way and who can offer support and guidance such as a life coach.

Most importantly, remember that it's okay not to have everything figured out by the time you reach your twenties.

Life is a journey after all and you will go through many reincarnations of yourself over the years. Give yourself permission to learn and grow at your own pace.

23 Vital Tips

1. Realise it’s fine to feel a bit lost and lonely in life

One of the first steps to changing your feeling of loneliness is to realise at times, in life, it is ok to have these emotions and that you are not alone.

We will all experience these feelings at some time or another in our lives and it is a perfectly normal, human experience to have.

2. Define your life’s purpose

A clearly defined purpose in life can help to ease feelings of isolation and loneliness.

When you are aware of what you want from your life and how you want to live it you will have drive and purpose.

This will help you meet other like-minded people, develop social connections and form meaningful and lasting relationships.

3. Design inspiring goals for yourself

Have you planned goals for yourself? Do you know what direction you want your life to be heading in? When you have designed inspiring goals for yourself you will have direction and meaning.

This will give you focus and something to work towards. Goals give you a reason to get up in the morning and push yourself forward.

Inspiring goals excite and motivate you. They give you plans and endpoints, make your life bigger and better and help you to develop relationships.

4. List your achievements

Do you say to yourself “ I am alone because I am useless?” Are you constantly putting yourself down and blaming yourself for not having strong relationships?

If you find yourself doing this then start today to make a list of your achievements up to this stage in your life.

It doesn’t matter how large or small, jot it down and celebrate it. It could be learning to drive, passing exams, maintaining a good level of fitness or being able to bake a loaf of bread. Own and celebrate your achievements to help you understand what an amazing and valuable person you are.

5. Be confident in your own skills and abilities

Every one of us is unique. No two people will ever have the same set of skills and abilities. You will have skills and abilities that will set you apart from others.

The more you celebrate your particular skill set the more confident you will become and the more you will attract other people to you.

Start building yourself up by seeing how unique and wonderful you are. Have confidence in what you can do and what you have to offer the world.

6. Don’t allow your education to restrict your career path

Very few people will graduate from Oxford or Harvard with a first-class honours degree. Many more people will never go on to higher education. This is never a problem, you have to understand this and not let it hold you back.

Never let your education restrict your career path. You will have many hard and soft skills that will allow you to do many different things in life. The important thing is to not set boundaries for yourself based on education or exam results.

Play to your strengths and find a career that suits your skill set and values. You may feel lost because of the career you have. Discover the real you and develop a career around who you are not who you believe you should be.

7. Keep a positive mindset when things don't seem to be working out

Life is full of ups and downs and no one will ever have a life full of ups. There will always be times in your life when things don’t go as planned. Learning that from a young age and building resilience will help you to navigate bumps in the road when they arise.

Staying positive in tough times will make it far easier to have people on your side supporting you. If you have a victim mentality, you may drive people away. Stay positive, tough times will pass.

8. Be open to the new opportunities around you

Sometimes, one of the main reasons for feeling lost in life is due to being stuck in a rut and being bored. Make sure you are open to new opportunities around you to shake things up and to get you unstuck.

Try to push yourself as much as you can, even if you are fearful of change or are unsure of your abilities, being open to new opportunities in life can open up a whole new world for you.

9. Review all of the relationships in your life

Have you reviewed all of your relationships to see if they are working for you? Some relationships could be draining you of self-confidence and self-belief, meaning you feel lost.

The relationships in life that will serve you are the ones that will build you up, make you feel safe and secure and instil confidence and belief in you and your abilities.

If a relationship isn’t a positive one, it could be time to move on.

10. Find a Coach or Mentor to help you

If you are feeling lost in your life, it may be time you reach out to a professional who can help you bring about change. A professional coach or mentor can be a huge influence in your life. They can help you discover a new direction, set goals and plans, build your confidence and offer you support and accountability when you need it.

Working with a coach can give you the impetus you need to discover where you want to be going and what you want to be doing.

11. Take your time to discover what’s right for you

Are you feeling lost because you are unhappy with the choices you have made in life so far?

You may dislike the job you do, the lifestyle you are living, or the relationships in your life could be holding you back.

Discovering what is right for you in your life can have a huge impact on the way you feel. Take the time to discover your goals, what you like, and where you want to spend your time and make sure the values you hold dear in life align with the life you are living.

12. Consider taking a few risks

If you want excitement and adventure in your life, you may need to consider taking a few risks in life. When you take risks, you push yourself forward in ways you may never imagined. You build resilience and confidence, develop soft and hard skills and learn about what you are capable of.

As scary as it seems, risk-taking can accelerate your life and place you where you would like to be.

13. Do what you love not what you think you should do

Doing what you love and not what you think you should do is an empowering way to live your life. Engaging in activities that genuinely bring joy and fulfilment can help realign your sense of self and direction.

If you are feeling lonely, living your life with passion will help you navigate through any confusion you have with clarity and renewed purpose.

14. Step out of your comfort zone

Stepping out of your comfort zone when you're feeling lost can be a powerful way to discover new paths and opportunities for growth.

As difficult as it may seem at first, pushing yourself out of familiar boundaries can lead you to make unexpected breakthroughs and increase your personal development.

Embracing any personal discomfort you may feel can help you build resilience. Often a sign of feeling lost is that change is needed, so moving out of your comfort zone can be transformative.

15. Don’t be afraid to try something and then leave if it’s not right

Feeling lost is a common experience when trying something new. Remember that it is okay to explore different paths and make adjustments along the way.

Give yourself permission to try things out and trust your intuition to know when something is not the right fit. Being open to new possibilities and having the courage to let go of what no longer serves you are essential parts of the journey towards finding what truly aligns with your values and passions.

16. Do what you want, not the expectations of parents

Feeling lost can be overwhelming, especially if you face a conflict between your desires and expectations from your parents as to how you should be living your life.

You must prioritise your own needs above the wants and expectations of other people. Choosing to follow your passions can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

It is okay to prioritize your happiness and well-being, even if it means diverging from the expectations set by parents.

Trust yourself and have faith in your life choices.

17. Be a doer, not a procrastinator

When you feel lost, focus on taking action rather than letting procrastination take over your life. Being a doer means you are more likely to avoid moments of confusion and you can gain a sense of direction and purpose.

Set yourself goals and then break them down into manageable chunks. By actively engaging with the situation, you can create momentum that will propel you forward.

Regardless of the size of the steps you take, they will still get you to where you want to be in life. Being a doer will empower you to move on through your life and go beyond feeling lost and towards finding your direction.

18. Persevere in the direction you have decided upon

When feeling lost, it is essential to persevere in the direction you have decided upon.

Challenges and uncertainties may arise, causing doubts to cloud your judgment.

In these moments, staying focused on your chosen path can help regain clarity and momentum.

Remember that setbacks are temporary, and perseverance can lead to growth and success. Trust in your decisions and abilities, and keep moving forward with determination and resilience.

19. Don’t rush into something without due consideration

Feeling lost in your twenties is a common experience as you navigate the uncertainties of adulthood. During these times, it's crucial not to rush into decisions without careful consideration.

Take the time to reflect on your values, goals, and aspirations before committing to a path. Rushing into something hastily may lead to further confusion and dissatisfaction.

Remember that it's okay to feel lost at times; use this period to explore different options, seek guidance, and trust that clarity will come with patience and self-reflection.

20. Develop a support group of friends and family

Developing a support group of friends and family is crucial during times of feeling lost in your twenties. This circle of support can provide comfort, guidance, and different perspectives to help navigate through uncertainties and challenges.

Having individuals who genuinely care about your well-being can offer emotional support, practical advice, and a sense of belonging.

Whether seeking reassurance, brainstorming solutions, or simply having a listening ear, a support group can be instrumental in providing the strength and encouragement needed to overcome obstacles and find direction during this transformative period of life.

21. Don’t compare yourself to others, realise you are unique

In your twenties, it can be easy to feel lost and unsure of yourself, especially when surrounded by others who appear to have it all figured out.

Remember that comparison will do nothing for the situation other than diminish your self-worth. Embrace the fact that you are a unique individual with your path to walk.

Instead of focusing on where you think you should be, concentrate on your personal growth and journey. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be at this moment and that your experiences and challenges will shape you into the person you are meant to become.

22. Organize your time better

Feeling lost in your twenties is a common experience as you navigate your way through the complexities of life.

One effective way to regain control and direction is by organizing your time better. Begin to identify your goals and priorities.

Create a daily or weekly schedule and allocate time for work, self-care, and socialising. There are many tools you can employ such as planners or apps to help you stay organized and on track.

If you feel overwhelmed then break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Learn to become flexible and willing to make changes and adjust your plans as needed.

23. Take up journaling and put your thoughts down on paper

Journaling can be a valuable tool if you are feeling lost in your twenties. Putting thoughts down on paper can help provide clarity, insight, and a sense of direction during uncertain times.

By writing down your feelings and experiences, you will able yourself to gain a better understanding of who you are and the goals you have.

Writing regularly in a journal can serve as a form of self-reflection, allowing you to grow personally and develop in all areas of your life.

Final Thoughts

If you are looking for ways to stop feeling lost in your twenties, incorporating the ones above into your life can help you gain a sense of perspective and purpose.

Feeling lost in your twenties is a common experience, there are many complexities to navigate at this stage in life that can seem overwhelming.

To stop feeling lost, take the time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. What is important to you? Where do you want to be in five or ten years? How will your life look if you are successful?

Surround yourself with supportive and nurturing relationships that encourage you to grow and live your life in a way that is aligned with who you are and what you want.

It's important to seek guidance from mentors or a life coach to provide insight and clarity. They can help you embrace change and challenges and help you see them as opportunities for growth and learning. Avoid judging yourself and remain patient, trust that clarity will come with time and introspection.

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