How can I reduce my social anxiety?

Anyone who suffers from social anxiety disorder will understand how debilitating this condition can be. The crippling fear of being in social situations, mixing with other people and feeling fear and anxiety overtake you.

If you are looking for ways to deal with social anxiety disorder fast, continue reading to discover what you can do to start reducing your anxiety today so you can begin to socialise with other people, work more freely and enjoy your life without the dread of social anxiety controlling you.

What causes social anxiety?

Social anxiety also known as social phobia, is recognised as an overwhelming fear of being placed in social situations.

Many people find this condition appears whilst they are teenagers. Whilst some people will grow out of this condition, others will continue suffering unless they get some form of treatment to help them.

Social anxiety shouldn’t be confused with being shy. Although shyness can be disruptive in certain situations, social anxiety disorder can be debilitating.

Social anxiety doesn’t just go away on its own. It affects everyday life and relationships, a person’s self-confidence and working situations or education.

Although it is not known what the exact cause of social anxiety is, there are various factors, such as biological, physical and genetic which may cause the problems.

There have been many studies carried out into the disorder and many books written as to the cause and effects.

Environmental factors and hormonal imbalances can be a part of the issues, as well as negative past experiences such as overbearing parents, difficult peer relationships, PTSD, and a history of emotional, or physical abuse.

19 Easy Powerful Tips

1. Learn methods to control your stress levels

Learning to control your stress levels is one of the best ways to deal with social anxiety disorder. Try using breathing exercises if you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed by a situation. If you are finding it difficult to cope with a certain task, try breaking it down into more manageable sections. Having a method to hand when you are feeling anxiety arising can be very beneficial as a way to control the situation.

2. Avoid alcohol

Alcohol can exacerbate feelings of stress and anxiety. Try to cut down or cut out alcohol altogether when you are in social situations.

Alcohol is a stimulant and also a depressant which can trigger stress.

Although people can often believe that alcohol helps them to feel comfortable in social situations it can bring with it a range of more complicated issues the more you drink.

3. Question your negative thinking

Start to question the negative thoughts you are having around social situations. If you are having negative automatic thoughts, you could be fueling your social anxiety disorder.

If you have persistent thoughts such as “nobody finds me interesting” this is only going to make your social anxiety worse. This belief will mean you fear going out because of what you think will happen. Start to identify and challenge these negative thoughts. Write them down and start to interrogate them, why do you think that? Where is the evidence? By doing this you can begin to replace these thoughts with positive automatic thoughts.

4. Learn how to control your breathing

Breathing exercises are a very simple, quick yet highly effective way of controlling your mind and body in stressful situations.

When you are stressed your body will go into flight or fight response. You may find your blood rate is higher, your breathing is faster, you can begin to hyperventilate, your palms get sweaty, and you feel out of control.

By controlling your breathing, you will begin to slow down all the physical responses to stress.

Controlled breathing will also help to control the emotional effects as well. It will make you more relaxed, calmer and more rational.

5. Focus on other people, not just yourself

When you feel anxiety rising in social situations, instead of focusing on your own thoughts and feelings begin to focus on other people instead. This distraction tactic can help you to take your mind off what you are thinking.

6. Cut down on caffeine

Caffeine is a stimulant so it’s helpful to avoid it if you are suffering from stress and anxiety.

Caffeine has been shown by studies to induce panic attacks. Try switching to decaf tea and coffee or herbal tea instead when you fancy a hot drink.

Don’t forget many soft drinks and energy drinks are high in caffeine as well so eliminate them from your diet.

If you feel you need some caffeine in drinks to stay alert during the day then switch to green tea which has natural levels of caffeine.

Cutting back on caffeine can also cause anxiety so reduce caffeine consumption gradually so your body adapts to the elimination over time.

7. Be more social

As odd as this may sound if you are someone who suffers from social anxiety, learning to be more social helps. Getting out there and putting yourself in situations can help you to overcome your fears. You will probably need to start slowly, going out with people you trust and who understand your situation.

The more you avoid a social situation, the more you will perceive them as something you can’t handle and the more fear and anxiety you will place around them. The thoughts you have in your mind will directly affect how you feel and behave, if your thoughts are fearful, you will feel fear and act accordingly.

Try to prepare for social situations in advance by thinking about conversations you may have, where you will be going, the people you will be with and the thoughts you have about yourself.

8. Be inspired by self-help books

There are many self-help books available to help you tackle social anxiety. Although some people will need help from another person, many find working through a self-help book can give them the advice and encouragement they need to face social situations and handle them.

Find a book that resonates with you, someone who seems to understand your feelings and beliefs. They can be very informative and useful.

9. Step outside your comfort zone

A comfort zone is actually the worse place to stay, as strange as it sounds because it prevents you from doing so much with your life and often, they aren’t even that comfortable. Just think about it for a moment, when you are stuck in your comfort zone, what you are really doing is staying stuck in fear and anxiety. This is because all of the things you fear are there with you in your head, you may not be physically doing these things but you are mentally living them and attaching fear and anxiety to them instead.

Try stepping out of your comfort zone and confronting those areas you fear the most, they may not be as bad as the thought you have built up in your head about them.

10. Try not to be too serious and laugh more

Laughter you are all told, is the best medicine and it really is good for reducing stress and anxiety and making you see the lighter side of life.

Laughter reduces the stress hormone cortisol in the body and raises the feel-good neurotransmitters, serotonin and dopamine.

Laughter and feeling good can help to distract you from thinking negatively about social situations, taking you out of yourself and away from your own thoughts.

Socially, laughter can help you to connect to other people helping to ease tensions and anxiety in social situations.

11. Practice feeling confident in social situations

You will no doubt have heard the phrase “ fake it until you make it.” This is great advice when learning to cope in social situations. Many people can come across as confident and at ease in a big group of people, only for you to find out later that they aren’t at ease at all. They can just fake the effect by practising feeling confident beforehand.

Try this yourself to see how it can make you feel completely different in social situations. By pretending to be something you can make it a reality.

12. Fill your life with positive people

Life is always better with positive people in it. Think about how positive people make you feel relaxed, happy, content, and optimistic.

You will never have many negative feelings around positive people. Therefore when in social situations, try and surround yourself with as many positive people as possible.

They are far more likely to be kind, caring and considerate you your feelings and to help you to cope with any fears you may have.

Their positivity will start to rub off on you and can help you to become more confident and less self-conscious.

13. Recognise and celebrate your small wins

A win is a win no matter how small so celebrate them all. Celebrating your wins can really help you to boost your confidence and the way you view yourself.

You are far more likely to feel socially awkward if you put yourself down and think negatively about yourself and your achievements. When you celebrate your achievements you will begin to think more positively and view yourself in a far more favourable way, meaning you will be more confident around other people.

14. Make goal setting part of your life

Whatever you want to change or achieve in your life, it will always be made easier and more successful if you start setting goals.

If you want to overcome your social anxiety, begin by looking at how you can do this, set goals for addressing your fears, how you are thinking and what you would like to change and what you would like to add to your life to make your goals a reality.

This is where working with a professional such as a life coach or therapist can help you to be successful.

15. Ask people close to you to help

When dealing with social anxiety don’t suffer alone, ask people close to you to help. It could be you need someone to discuss your fears with, someone to support you when you go out or someone who is there to encourage you along the way.

Engaging with other people and getting their help, advice and understanding will mean you are more likely to push yourself and face your fears.

16. Start exercising in a social environment

Start placing yourself in more social situations where you can mix with other people even if you don’t have to engage with them such as exercising in a gym.

Here you will be surrounded by other people but won’t be forced to talk to them if you don’t feel comfortable at first.

Little by little you can begin to build up your confidence, get used to being around other people and become more accustomed to being in social environments.

17. Say yes to social invitations when invited

If you get invited to a social event say yes. No doubt every ounce of you will want to say no but what will you ever achieve by this All you will be doing with be reinforcing the thoughts you have in your head that social situations are place to make you feel anxious and scared. By saying yes you will be forcing yourself out of your comfort zone and facing your fears. The more you say yes, the more confidence you will gain.

18. Use a journal to keep track of your thoughts

It’s your thoughts that will keep you a prisoner so start to evaluate your thoughts.

Treat yourself to a new journal and begin to track the thoughts you are having. What thoughts serve your anxiety? What thoughts are true and what thoughts are imagined? What evidence is there to back up the way you think and feel about yourself? What are your strong points, the areas you’re confident in? What do you love about yourself and what do other people love about you?

Once you begin to keep track of all of these thoughts you will be able to see triggers to your thinking and bad habits you have developed. You will be able to address the thoughts that don’t serve you and replace them with ones to help you.

19. Use a life coach or therapist for cognitive behavioural therapy

Using a life coach or therapist and undertaking a course in cognitive behavioural therapy can really help to change your thinking and address social anxiety.

CBT looks at the thoughts you are having, why you are having them, and how they are making you feel and act and then begins to add changes to your thinking to make your thoughts more helpful.

If you are struggling to change your thinking on your own then working with a professional could be incredibly helpful for you.

Final Thoughts

There are many ways for you to deal with social anxiety disorder. Never feel you have to suffer alone or that you will never be able to break away from the thoughts you are having or the way you are feeling.

By changing the way you view situations, implementing practical solutions and involving the help and support of other people you can bring change to your life and social freedom back.

Remember it is one step at a time. If you falter you can always begin again.

With persistence, commitment, the will to bring about change and belief in yourself you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

If you would like to listen to the audio version of the blog post click below;

If you would like to comment on write and share below