What is fear?

As soon as you see something that you fear, your amygdala starts working. It sends an alert to your nervous system, which in turn sets your body into response mode, with palpitations, shortness of breath, increased blood pressure and heartbeat, plus sweating palms and trembling. This is all caused by the stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline that are released into your system.

This is your primitive brain at work, the part of the brain that thousands of years ago kept humans safe from predators and alerted them to danger from things such as wild animals.

Of course, there will be very few people who ever find themselves in the sort of dangerous situations that are ancestors found themselves in but our bodies still respond to fear in the same way.

Fear is an emotion that we all have at various times in our lives. It is a normal part of being human and is also essential as a way of keeping us safe.

The feeling of fear helps us notice when something could harm us, it is, therefore, a necessary component of human life. For many people though their fears have done more harm than good. Instead of being there to keep them safe, they can end up destroying their lives or placing a stranglehold on them.

What is causing your fear?

There are fears in life that have no practical use to us and all they do is hold us back. How many people have had a fear of public speaking at one time or another for example? The emotion of fear in this situation is anything but helpful and can even be detrimental to us.

This kind of fear can hold you back professionally and can cause you real problems in social situations, where you may have to make a speech or be in the public eye in some capacity.

Dealing with this kind of fear is essential in life, as otherwise, you are going to end up having fearful encounters throughout that you will either end up avoiding or that will start to affect the quality of your life.

Other people have a real fear of spiders, snakes or birds. Again fears that serve no purpose but to add discomfort and restriction into life. These are the sort of fears that can cripple a person emotionally, an irrational fear that can take over their lives.

Fears and phobias can take over a person’s life. Even the most controlled and rational person can be left in a state of nerve when confronted by something that they fear. These fears and phobias can leave a person in a state of perpetual; anxiety.

Fear should never be the reason that you put off doing things or living. If you live under a cloud of fear you are going to live a half-life, as Jack Canfield says, “ Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

Learning to live with this idea can see you achieving so much more from life rather than hiding behind fear and never pushing yourself because you fear what may happen.

Get to know what your fears are

Many people have fears that they have inherited, for example, if you have been brought up by somebody who has a fear of spiders, they can very well influence you to adopt the same fear. You may not even know why you are afraid, it is just learned behaviour in you.

Discovering what your fears actually are, means that you are closer to eradicating them in your life. Nobody wants to be held captive throughout their life by fear; not being able to do things because of an overwhelming sense of being frightened. Understanding what fear is and why we have it is the first step to breaking the cycle.

Fear is brought about through the mind. Knowing this is a powerful tool for conquering your fears. A fear of public speaking is brought on because your mind thinks about what other people will think of you.

It’s the thoughts that you have going on in your brain that make you afraid; “will I look stupid; are people judging me; am I boring ?” It is not the actual speaking itself that is bringing about the fear, more what you are imagining other people around are thinking. Therefore learning to control the thoughts that you have going on in your mind will help you to face your fears.

There are many ways that you can work to control your fears, Although this can seem daunting when you first begin, the effort and commitment that you put into are going to be worthwhile.

What you have to realise is that change is not going to happen overnight. Deep-rooted fears have been growing in your mind for a long time and it is going to take time and effort to remove them…..but it can be done.

Why you should face up to your fears

You don’t want to feel that you have gone through life missing out just because of fear. Missing out on life experiences, embarking on a relationship a change of career or a change of location just because of so deep-held fear.

This is something that you can take control of if you set your mind to it and start to develop some new thought patterns. Below are some reasons why you should face up to your fears;

• You will feel empowered - facing up to your fears can make you feel very empowered and in control of your life, you are no longer a victim to them, you have taken control of the situation. This feeling is very powerful because it can spur you on to make many changes in your life.

• Break the pattern of negative reinforcement - By avoiding a situation you will find that you get a momentary feeling of relief but the fear is still there, avoiding the situation is not going to make it go away, and next time you have to face it you are just going to feel worse. Learning to break the pattern will put you back in control and will save you from constantly buffering through your life.

• You will start to fear” fear “ itself - This happens when you fear not only a situation, for example flying when you have a fear of it but when you begin to fear the way that you feel when you think about flying. This can lead to you fearing many more things in life. Once the idea of fear takes hold, it can distort how you think about many things. You need to take overall control of how you are thinking about what you fear.

How to fight your fears

Whatever it is that scares you in life there are many ways that you can learn to cope and overcome your feelings;

• Face your fears -Avoiding something is only going to make it worse so the best way is to face your fear head-on.

  This is empowering and can make you see that what you were afraid of was all contained inside your mind, something that you have complete control over.

• Take a break away from the situation - if you have a sudden fear that leaves you unable to cope, taking a break from the situation is often a good idea as it gives you time to calm down physically.

  Take a short walk, have a drink, listen to some music, or do something to take your mind off what you are fearful of.

• Evaluate the evidence for your fears - If you fear flying because you feel that the plane will crash, look for evidence that is going to support your fears.

  What you will discover is the opposite of what you have been thinking and this should go some way to helping to control your fears.

• Visualize a safe space to go to - If you are struck by a fearful thought, use your mind to visualize a safe place to go to. Introducing a positive, safe space into your brain will replace any negative, fearful ideas that you have.

• Talk to someone about your fears - Sometimes just the simple exercise of discussing your fears with another person will help you to overcome them and will make you realize that you are not the only one to have such thoughts.

  Often the mind builds thoughts up to a huge scale and talking with somebody else will make you understand that they aren’t that scary.

Facing your fears doesn’t mean that they are just going to disappear straight away, for some people they will be able to eradicate them from their lives, and for others, it may be more learning to live with them and not letting them take over.

From time to time you may still feel scared but learning to manage your fears means you are taking proactive steps in the right direction.

Often talking to someone such as a Life coach can be a very useful way of helping you to overcome fears. With the right tools that they can show you how to use, plus CBT and Exposure practices, you can start to take control of your life and face your fears.

Coaching to remove your fears

Working with a coach can be one of the best ways to start eradicating fear from your life. Coaching puts you back in control by arming you with knowledge and the tools that you need to take the fear away.

The brain learns behaviour over many years. Situations from when you were young can still have a great effect on how you think and feel today.

These behaviours won’t just go away because you want them to, you need to work on your brain to retrain your thinking, It could be through the use of CBT or Avoidance Therapy to help you start rewiring your brain to eradicate the fear.

Many people find that working with a coach gives them accountability, which helps them to continue on their journey.

If you would like to discover more about how coaching can help you to take control of fear in your life then click on the link coaching services for fear.

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Do you have any other questions about facing your fears? Please feel free to get in touch to discover more about learning to face your fears.

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