Why do limiting beliefs exist?

Every thought, decision, action and result that you take in life comes from your brain. Your brain can either be your best friend or worst enemy depending on the thoughts that it has. Imagine how amazing our lives would be if we only ever had positive, affirmative thoughts and never let a limiting belief anywhere near us.

Unfortunately, all too often, we are overcome with self-limiting beliefs, we let them run wild in our minds and allow them to control every action and result that we have.

A limiting belief is a belief that you have about yourself that restricts you in some way. We all suffer from them at some time or other in life, but some people allow them to have full control of their lives, thus limiting everything that they do.

Many limiting beliefs come from a place of fear or negativity. They can stem from our childhood from thoughts that were put in place by our parents, friends or peers. They can also stem from our working life, from bosses or work colleagues. Wherever they have started, it is up to you to put a stop to them, unless you want them to control your life forever and limit everything that you do.

How many times before you have even embarked on something have you told yourself you won’t get it? A job that you apply for and as you are filling in the application form, your mind is already telling you that you will be unsuccessful. These self-limiting beliefs are holey detrimental to our lives and yet we persist with them, sometimes completely unaware that we actually have them.

Think of something that you have achieved, it was no doubt something that you were confident that you would succeed in, these empowering beliefs can make us feel invincible so why do we have such limiting beliefs as well?

What exactly is a belief? A belief is an acceptance that something is true, even without proof, it is a firmly held opinion. Therefore when we have a self-limiting belief we will believe it even if there is evidence to contradict it, or we will look for reinforcing evidence to support our belief, a so-called confirmation bias.

Can you change self-limiting beliefs?

As a life coach, many of the people who come to me for help struggle in some way or another with limiting beliefs. It could be that they are afraid to go for a promotion because they don’t believe that they are up for the job or that they can’t meet a partner because of the beliefs that they hold about themselves.

Whatever the circumstance, each situation boils down to the same problem, they have let limiting beliefs have full reign of their mind and they have allowed them to hinder any success that they may have had in their lives.

The good news is that you can change a limiting belief and replace it with a new belief system that will work for you. I have seen many times, that people change how they view themselves and how they talk to themselves, replacing negativity with positivity and derogatory language and beliefs with praise and confidence.

If you too would like to replace any limiting beliefs that you have about yourself, then follow the 15 steps to overcome self-limiting beliefs.

Overcome self-limiting beliefs: 15 steps for success

There are several ways of breaking self-limiting beliefs;

1. Identify self-limiting beliefs

   Although this might sound obvious, it is amazing how many times you can have a limiting belief without realizing that it is one.

   The mind believes everything that goes into it as being true, which is why it believes so easily in limiting beliefs in the first place. Once you have identified a limiting belief you can then go about breaking free from it.

2. Think about how you came up with these beliefs originally

   As discussed these beliefs often come about from an early age and you will have had them all throughout your life. Other times it may have been a passing comment from another person that has stuck in your mind and you have dwelt upon it so much that it has been seeded as a self-limiting belief. Identifying their origins will help you break away from them.

3. Look for evidence that counter-argues these beliefs

   As it is you who is telling you these limiting beliefs, it is up to you to find counter-arguments for them. If you constantly tell yourself that you are not attractive, look for times when somebody else told you otherwise.

   If you firmly believe that you can’t do something, look for evidence that supports the thought that you can do something. Finding and then believing an alternative belief puts you on the right path to eradicating these negative belief systems.

4. Supplant negative beliefs with positive ones instead

   Once you are aware that it is you who is putting these thoughts in your mind or you are believing what somebody else has said in the past, you can begin to supplant negative thoughts and beliefs with positive ones. Although it will take some time for the brain to get used to these new beliefs, with constant reaffirming it can be done, and then they will become your new belief system.

5. Keep a lookout to prevent negative beliefs from reappearing

   Even when you have a new belief system in place, you need to always be aware of the thoughts that you have so you don’t slip back into old ways of thinking.

   Keeping a journal with positive thoughts or affirmations about yourself is a great way to keep constantly reaffirming your new thoughts and beliefs and will help to keep out the old belief systems.

6. Write the belief down on paper and examine it

   A powerful way to challenge a limiting belief is to write it down on a piece of paper and examine it. Does it stand up to scrutiny? When it’s written down, can you see the obvious flaws in your belief? Often when confronted with something in black and white it becomes clear that it is a dangerous limiting belief that you have to live in your mind.

7. Be accountable for your own life

There are occasions in life when we are apt to blame other people when we do not achieve goals that we have set, whether that be a job, promotion, or weight loss, we often look for all external excuses but don’t look to ourselves as the reason.

When things don’t go our way, it is always easier to blame someone or something else but more often than not it can be our self-limiting beliefs that hold us back from achieving the things that we want from life. Be accountable for your life and stop blaming others.

8. Step out of your comfort zone

Have you ever thought that you actually take some comfort in your limiting beliefs? That because you think the way that you do about certain things, you never take risks and so stay firmly ensconced in your comfort zone?

Where does that get you though if you are really honest with yourself? Often, all of the good stuff in life is on the other side of fear so stepping outside of your comfort zone and disbelieving those limiting beliefs can actually give you a fuller, richer more empowered life.

9. Use positive self-talk

If you were to spend a day recording the things that you said internally to yourself, how many positive words do you think you would hear? No doubt for many people, the answer would be not many! Imagine if you switched to positive self-talk, think of the difference it would make to your results in life.

Switching the language you use can have the most amazing effect on what happens to you in life, so start positive internal self-talk.

10. Ask “Does this belief get me where I need to be?”

This is a really powerful question to ask if you want to change the results that you are getting in your life.

We know that our thoughts affect our feelings which bring about our actions and results, so if you aren’t getting the desired results in life you need to start examining your thoughts and asking if they are helping you.

If the answer is no then you know that you need to change your thoughts.

11. Introduce a specific time for a daily mantra

This is another very powerful tool that you can use to change the thoughts that you have about yourself. A mantra isn’t difficult, it is just the repetition of a phrase that you say over and over again until it becomes a belief.

An example of a mantra is “ I am capable of achieving great results.” Choose a particular time of the day to say it, usually, first thing in the morning is the best time, as the thought will be with you all day and repeat it at least twenty times.

Getting into this routine gives you the best chance of cementing this new thought deep into your mind, so it replaces any limiting beliefs that may be dwelling there.

12. Visualise yourself exceeding your limited belief mindset

Visualisation is a tool that I love to use with my clients because it has such a powerful and lasting effect. When you visualise a thought it has a strong, lasting impression on the mind.

The brain won’t see it as make-believe, it will just see it as a fact, hence it is such an effective tool to use. Imagine the outcome that you want most positively and then keep replaying this thought over and over in your mind until it becomes your reality.

13. Think of all your positive attributes that allow you to exceed the limiting belief

This can be tricky for anyone who never has anything positive to say about themselves, but the truth is that we all have many positive attributes even if they are not automatically obvious to us. Find a quiet place to sit and jot down all of your good qualities, even if they are just ones that other people say about you. Reread the list until it becomes ingrained in your mind.

14. Actively develop new behaviours in contrast to your limiting beliefs

If you tell yourself something, such as “I can never make new friends” you need to get out there and start changing your behaviour to start challenging that thought. Of course, your mind is going to throw up no end of objections as to why this is a bad idea and shouldn’t be attempted but it is something that you need to do to break the limiting belief that you hold.

15. Actually, implement these techniques (take action)

I am stating this again as it is imperative that you really do start to take positive action to break the limiting beliefs that you have. Action is the best way to form a new belief system, once you see with your own eyes that you are holding onto the wrong belief system, then you will be able to change other thoughts in your mind but you will only be able to do this if you get out there and take positive affirmative action.

Final Thoughts

Beliefs are fundamental to us as humans, they shape our view of the world. From a very early age, we start to develop our belief systems and then as we go through life we have experiences that support these beliefs.

Many of the beliefs have been ingrained in us since childhood by our parents, relatives, teachers, and peers and for good or bad they have shaped us.

If as a child you were constantly told that you were stupid by your parents then this is going to be a self-limiting belief that you are going to grow up with even if there is no evidence to support it.

These types of self-limiting beliefs are the ones that have the greatest chance of causing us harm and are the types of beliefs that we need to eradicate from our minds.

Self-limiting beliefs cause us to have limiting behaviours. If we feel that nothing we say is worth listening to, then we will go through life not speaking up.

This can hold us back in so many ways; from meeting a partner, interacting socially, or getting a job you really want. Therefore you must learn to break free of any self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
Self-limiting beliefs can be dispelled from your mind with practice and there are many tools that you can use. If you find that you are struggling to achieve this by yourself then a life coach can equip you with many tools and motivation to aid you in eradicating self-limiting beliefs from your mind.

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