Give yourself permission to be happy

Permission meaning: authorization given to do something. the act of consent.

How often do we wish happiness on other people? Birthdays, weddings, the birth of a child. obtaining a great job or just signing off from work at the weekend. For most of us, granting other people happiness comes automatically and with real sincerity. Why then do we find it so hard to grant ourselves happiness? Why do we feel that we shouldn’t be happy?

Do you accept happiness, if it is bestowed by someone else? Or do you feel that you are not deserving of happiness?

Do you feel that happiness is something that you have to earn? Do you have to have a certain lifestyle, a particular job, family or friends before you can be happy? Or do you wait for other people to permit you to be happy?

Happiness is up to you

The answer is ….. you are the only one that can make you happy. Not your job, family, friends, hobbies or anything else external. Happiness comes from within and so it is up to you to permit yourself to be happy.

Happiness is an emotion or a feeling in the body that is generated by thought. The only way we can ever experience an emotion or feeling is by having a thought first.

We don’t have emotions before we then have a thought it never works that way, so to feel happy you have to have a thought that makes you feel happy. It’s up to you to have that thought to create the feeling of happiness - it’s nothing to do with anybody else.

Outdated ideas about happiness

All too often we have an idea that we have to earn happiness, that it is something that has to be attained. There has long been the idea that happiness comes from having money or no money worries. Money and happiness are so often inextricably tied together, that without money you can’t be happy.

Now, of course, there can be no doubt that having a certain level of income is going to make life much easier. No one can deny that having the money to pay your bills, buy essential goods have holidays and afford certain luxuries is not a good thing and something that most people will strive for. It doesn’t mean though that having money is going to bring automatic happiness.

There will be many very wealthy people who do not have a level of happiness equal to someone who is considered poor. In the same way, there will be many poor people who have extreme happiness in their lives.

Many also believe that our happiness lies in the hands of another person. If they had the perfect partner, then their life would be complete and they would be happy, or if they had different friends or family, then this would bring them immediate happiness.

The same as with ideas regarding money, it is not the job of anybody else to make you happy. Your partner, family, friends or work colleagues can’t make you happy, it comes internally from the thoughts that you have.

Your lifestyle, home, the way you look and the job that you do, also don’t bring you happiness. To be happy you have to understand this simple rule, YOU choose to be happy by the thoughts that you have….nothing else. It is up to you to permit yourself to be happy.

Why are you not allowing yourself to be happy?

Are you sabotaging your own happiness by not allowing yourself to be happy? For anyone who feels that happiness is earned or that comes at a certain level of success or wealth, you could be holding yourself to happiness ransom, telling yourself that only when you get to a particular level will you then be happy.

What if that level never appears, what if you don’t become rich, meet your ideal partner, or get your dream job? Does this mean that you will never give yourself permission to be happy? Will you go through your life feeling that you don’t deserve happiness or that you are denied happiness because someone else hasn’t bestowed it on you?

How to allow yourself to be happy

Only you can make yourself happy. Another person isn’t the one to make you happy, something that people so often get confused by.

It isn’t somebody else’s job to make you happy and nothing can have control of your happiness but you, so you need to understand how to make yourself happy and how to give yourself permission to be happy.

• You need to tell yourself that you have permission to be happy. Don’t wait for anybody else to tell you, don’t wait until life is perfect, do it now, and reaffirm to yourself that you deserve to be happy and that you should be happy.

  Happiness is the right of everyone and you deserve it. You deserve happiness regardless of your job, your weight, your lifestyle, your family, friends, partner or bank balance.

• Celebrate all of your achievements. How great would it be if we celebrated all of our achievements no matter the size? Who is to say what a great achievement is?

  Society seems to perpetuate the idea that only winners should be celebrated. Only people who reach number one, work in a top job, look the best or are the most successful are the people to be celebrated. This is a thought that has to be abolished straight away.

  Celebrate everything that you do, the life that you have, the job that you do, and the way you go about your day. Give yourself the recognition that you deserve and show yourself that you deserve happiness in everything that you do.

• Admit it’s ok to want happiness. It’s not selfish to want to be happy. This is sometimes an idea that we are brought up with, that happiness isn’t something that should be desired. That you should reflect the feelings of other people around you.

  This is not the way that you should be living. Ok, so there are awful things around you daily, if you listen to the news or posts on social media, you will be constantly bombarded by images of other people suffering or struggling in life, but this can’t affect your happiness.

  You still deserve to be happy just because someone else is having a bad time. There will always be ups and downs in life, so learn to be happy through them all.

• Don’t concern yourself with anyone else’s opinion. If something is going to make you happy, then do it. It’s your life and you need to live it the way that you want to. There will always be someone around you who feels that they have the right to tell you how to live your life and will be affronted by what you do.

  Don’t be afraid of what other people think, it’s none of their business. Do what makes you happy for yourself. Shut out the opinions and ideas of other people around you, you are living for yourself, not for other people.

• Accept what is going on in your life. Happiness is a choice that you make and you can decide when you want to be happy and when you don’t. If you accept all that is going on in your life whether it is good or bad, you can then decide whether you want to be happy or not.

  Accepting what is happening in your life, even if it is not what you want, gives you the ability to make decisions about your feelings. There are going to be times in your life when you don’t want to feel happy, that is the power that your thoughts have over your emotions. You can decide how you want to feel about what is going on in your life.

• Accept life isn't always perfect. You can’t always wait until life is perfect to be happy. Life is never going to be perfect, it just doesn’t work that way. Life is always going to have its ups and downs. There will always be areas of your life that need tweaking, so why wait until you think that you have the perfect life to be happy? You may not even realise it, but your life may be perfect as it is… go on enjoy life and be happy NOW!

• Go out of your comfort zone and try something new. Often we equate happiness with safety and routine.

  Seeing the same people, doing the same things and sticking to our comfort zone, make us feel happy and secure. Imagine yourself pushing your boundaries and stepping outside your comfort zone, having new experiences and challenges.

  You may not even realise what happiness is until you try something new. You have the power to create the life that you want. You can’t wait around for happiness to fall into your lap, you have to go out there and seize opportunities and push yourself and make discoveries. You can find amazing happiness in personal growth.

• Stop thinking about what is going to be. We create a great deal of stress in our lives and create thoughts that can make us unhappy by thinking about what is going to happen in the future.

  Why do we do this? We don’t have a crystal ball, no one can say with absolute certainty what is going to happen in the future and yet we constantly live by crystal ball gazing and catastrophizing the future, usually based on past events in our lives.

  This is something that needs to stop…NOW. Instead look to the future with optimistic thoughts, with ideas that are going to bring happiness into your life. The saying “What you think about you bring about “ is true. If you are going to project into the future then make sure it is into a place of positivity, where you will have thoughts that bring happiness to you.

Final thoughts on giving yourself permission to be happy

Life is short in the grand scheme of things and during our journey through it, there are going to be many times when things happen that are genuinely sad or heartbreaking. We know this and accept it as a part of life.

There are going to be many times in life when we don’t want to be happy, such as the death of a loved one or illness. It is in these times that we choose to not be happy, the situation dictates that this isn’t an emotion that we want to be experiencing.

There are times when we do want to be happy when we have a genuine reason to celebrate, the birth of a child or a new job and we want to shout from the rooftops how happy we are.

During these times, we will always give ourselves permission to be happy as we feel that we have something to celebrate and are entitled to feel happy.

Knowing this then, why not give yourself permission to be happy when life is just ticking along ordinarily? You don’t need the grand or amazing things in life to make you happy.

A simple walk in nature, a cup of tea and a catch-up with a friend, or a good book at bedtime can all be what it takes to bring happiness into our lives. Your happiness is under your control, it is up to you to decide when you want to be happy. Embrace living and embrace happiness….nobody needs to give you permission.

If you would like to listen to the audio version of the blog press below.

video courtesy of Bob Baker

If you have any thoughts on being happy please comment and share below