How do I stop automatic negative thoughts?

Are you looking for ways of dealing with negative automatic thoughts? The thoughts that you have regularly, where you talk down to yourself, highlight all of your failings or generally beat yourself up mentally because it has become an ingrained habit?

We generally tend to spend a lot of our lives working on automatic thoughts. You don’t think, “I will get up in the morning and go to work”, instead you just do. The same with getting dressed, showering, having your breakfast or locking your front door.

These are all actions that the brain just does automatically without you needing to think about them.

The brain works from habits, habits learned over a long period. In the main these automatic thoughts help us in our day-to-day activities they save us time and aid our progress throughout the day.

There is another set of thoughts though that are detrimental to us, thoughts that serve no purpose but that again we have automatically, these are negative automatic thoughts or NATs.

What is a negative automatic thought?

Negative automatic thoughts are either conscious or subconscious thoughts that we have during everyday occurrences in our lives. These NATs are irrational and unhelpful and can cause stress and anxiety. These negative self-talk thoughts are destructive, potentially harmful and hard to control.

They can pop into our heads without us even being aware that we are thinking of them.

They are often triggered by certain situations we find ourselves in and can cause no end of damage and unpleasantness to us

These negative automatic thoughts can be just like a tape recorder going round and round in our head, the same self-destructive thought being played over and over again.

We will have all had them at one time or another. An example of a NAT is;

• You have been invited out by a group of work colleagues

• You tell yourself they didn’t really want to invite you it was just because you work with them that they asked

• You avoid going out as you feel anxious and depressed.

  Once this thought has taken hold, it can be difficult to remove it and then the mind can start throwing up other instances where it believes the same thoughts. Around and around you then go in a self-destructive circle feeling depressed and doubting yourself.
  

Dealing with Negative Automatic Thoughts

If you find that you constantly have NATs popping up in your brain, then now is the time to start changing the habit. These thoughts can play havoc with your life but you can train your brain to think differently, one that will serve you far better.

We all have control over our brains, it’s just that sometimes it doesn’t seem that way. At times, it can almost appear that our brains are a separate entity from the rest of our bodies and they actually go out of their way to make life difficult for us.

This isn’t the case though and following the tips below will help you when dealing with negative automatic thoughts.

19 Ways of Dealing with NAT’s

1. Keep a NAT diary

To fully understand the habit of negative automatic thoughts, it is a good idea to keep a diary.

Write in any negative automatic thought that you have when you have had it. A thought diary will help you recognise the thoughts that you are having and the effect that they have on you.

You will then start to see a pattern emerge about the thoughts that you have and what may be triggering them.

2. Substitute negative thoughts with positive affirmations

Whenever a NAT pops into your head and you become aware that you are thinking it, try and substitute it with a positive affirmation instead. If your negative automatic thought is “ I am not popular”, replace this thought with a positive affirmation such as “People love spending time with me.”

The more you begin to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations, the sooner your brain will begin to replace your thought patterns from negative to positive ones.

3. Be aware of your mood

Many of us can be unaware of how we are feeling emotionally at a given point in time. Often we act on habit when we are dealing with emotions, never being fully present. How many times for instance will you have awoken and got ready for work and just assumed you are in a “bad” mood because you don’t want to be going to work?

Instead of being in this default mode, start thinking about how you really are feeling. Have you got something lined up that you are excited about? Is the weather lovely? Have you got a great evening planned? Think about what is happening in your life and adjust your mood, don’t sit in your default emotion.

4. Assess the situation that is causing the NAT

Do you find that you have more negative automatic thoughts in certain situations, such as work or social settings? If this is the case, one way to deal with negative automatic thoughts is to assess the situation that you find yourself in and see if there is any validity to your thoughts.

Are you afraid of something in the present because of an issue in your past? Break down the current situation and see if there are similarities or differences. You could be having a negative automatic thought that has nothing to do with your current situation.

5. Put your brain on trial

When a negative automatic thought comes into your head, put your brain on trial and see if there is any evidence to support your thought.

An example would be;

You are doing a presentation at work and your brain tells you it will be a failure.

Let’s look at some evidence to support this thought;

• were you feeling confident yesterday?

• have you done plenty of preparation?

• do you fully understand what you are talking about?

• have you had a failure in the past?

Once you answer these questions you will probably find that you have no evidence to support your negative automatic thought and so can argue against it and tell yourself that you will not be a failure at all.

6. Don’t be too hard on yourself

We can all have times when negative automatic thoughts come into our heads.

What you mustn’t do is be hard on yourself for thinking negatively. Instead, acknowledge the thought and then be kind to yourself.

Think of the good traits that you have and dwell on those.

7. Practice Mindfulness

To stop yourself from suffering from constant negative automatic thoughts, start practising mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a great tool to have that allows you to live in the present moment and stops you from ruminating on negative thoughts.

If you find a negative thought has appeared in your head, instead of dwelling on it and searching for evidence to support it, focus on something in your immediate vicinity, that could be anything, such as the clouds in the sky, trees, or a piece of music.

Really notice everything, the colour, sound, how it makes you feel. This act of mindfulness should drive all negative automatic thoughts from your mind.

8. Ask for help

If you find it too overwhelming to deal with NATs on your own then always reach out for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for assistance and nobody should judge you for it.

Some of the negative automatic thoughts can be so deep-rooted that it is difficult dealing with them on your own and you need the help of a professional to help you to realign your thoughts.

Many professionals can assist, using CBT, or coaching to help you to create new thought patterns.

9. Question and challenge your thoughts

Challenge the negative automatic thoughts that you have and question their validity. Are they thoughts that you have because it is what someone else is telling you? Do you realise why you have these thoughts? Do you understand how these thoughts are making you feel? Questioning these thoughts is the first step to bringing about change in your thinking.

10. Replace “I should” with “I do” and “I should be” with “I am”

Look to replace the language that you are using when you speak to yourself. Change negative language into positives such as “I should” with “I do” or “I should be” with “I am.” The language that you use is very powerful in the way that you then think and feel about yourself.

Speak in the same way to yourself, that you would speak to those that you love and care about.

11. Develop a positive outlook

Developing a positive outlook is very helpful when eradicating NATs from your mind. When you change how you look at situations and thoughts then they will change in your mind. Putting a positive spin on all situations can help to control the way that your thoughts develop.

There will never be anything helpful from thinking negatively, all that will happen is that you will get dragged down further and further into a negative spiral.

12. Detach feelings from the facts

Being over-emotional can be harmful if you are not dealing with the correct facts. This is something that often comes about when you get upset because you believe somebody is thinking badly about you.

Without the correct facts to hand, you can take yourself to a very negative place which can be difficult to get out of.

Learn to detach your feelings from facts, especially if the facts are ones that you have invented in your mind.

13. Beware of using labels for yourself and others

Are you aware of the labels that you place on yourself? You could be doing it without even realising it. How many times have you said “ I’m so stupid” or “ I can’t do that”? Thoughts that then become labels, you constantly refer to yourself in the way that you become accustomed to talking to yourself.

These labels are harmful and can just then start to reinforce the negative beliefs that you have about yourself.

14. See your inner critic as a separate entity that needs to be challenged

See yourself as two different people. Your inner critic, who fills your mind with NATs and then another you who questions and challenges your inner critic.

Once you become aware of the thoughts that you are having you need to start challenging yourself to readdress the balance.

15. Implement a daily practice of gratitude

Are many of the NATs that you have connected to lacking? Thinking that you are missing out on different aspects of life? If so try practising gratitude. This is one of the simplest and most effective ways of changing your thinking.

List everything that you have to be grateful for in life, your health, home, family, friends, job whatever it is for you and then get into a routine of daily gratitude. You will be amazed at how quickly your thoughts can change from negative to positive.

16. Don’t jump to negative mental conclusions

Are you guilty of constantly jumping to the wrong conclusion, especially when it is a negative one?

Everyone can be guilty of this from time to time but some people seem to do it constantly.

Try to stop jumping to conclusions, by thinking in a reasoned and relaxed way about situations. Look for supporting facts and try to keep your emotions in check.

17. Be careful not to magnify a minor problem

Don’t be the person who catastrophises every little problem into a major event.

This is so easy to do and yet is so destructive and can start to influence all of the situations in your life.

Think rationally and carefully about a problem, instead of letting your mind jump to the worst-case scenario straight away.

A rational thought about a situation can often show the problem to be a minor issue.

18. Take responsibility, don’t play the blame game

Don’t blame other people for the way that you think and feel. The thoughts that you have in your mind are entirely your own. Nobody can put a thought into your mind unless you allow them to.

You need to take full responsibility for what you are thinking, you can change your thoughts anytime you choose.

19. Develop confidence in yourself and your abilities

Confident people will often be more positive thinkers. Learn to become more confident in yourself and your abilities.

You no doubt have many talents but will often talk yourself down because of a lack of self-confidence.

Talk yourself up and develop your confidence and you will be able to eradicate the NATs living in your mind.

Final Thoughts

Negative automatic thoughts can lead to anxiety, depression, lack of confidence and anger. It is how we deal with them that will determine how they affect our lives.

Deciding to challenge and change them will have a positive impact on your mental health and how you live your life. If you want to feel better, then you have to address these thoughts.

Thoughts will always affect the way that you feel, and so the only way to feel better is to start doing the work to banish those NATs from your life and replace them with thoughts that will serve you.

Start practising becoming aware of the thoughts that you have in your mind and recognising the ones that are serving you and the ones that you need to remove.

Once you start to challenge the thoughts you will start to take back control of your brain and how you feel.

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