Is it normal to feel lost at 50?

Let’s be honest no matter how we sugarcoat it, it isn’t easy getting older, and the big milestones, seem even more daunting.

Many women can begin to struggle to cope with turning 50 and feel lost. Changes that occur in our bodies can make us start to think about ageing and our mortality.

Those little aches and pains we get, joint stiffness when we move, and our eyesight deteriorating can all be depressing signs that we are getting older.

Life after 50 for a woman

The good news is that ageing today isn’t like it was for our parents and grandparents. 50 looks totally different for us than it did for them.

Our healthier lifestyles and better medical care, mean that we are in a far better position at 50 than people were many years ago. The issue that we have now, is the psychological implications of turning 50.

We are constantly bombarded by unrealistic images in the media and negative attitudes towards older women which can all impact how we think about ourselves.

What we think directly affects how we feel and so negative thinking about getting older means that we will experience many negative emotions.

As we can’t reverse the ageing process, the only way to combat our attitude to getting older is to change the way that we think.

How to deal with turning 50

Our attitude to ageing is the key here. We are never going to be able to turn back time, no matter how hard we try but we can take a positive approach to turning 50 and embrace all the positives that ageing gives us.

Believe me when I say there are many. To deal with turning 50 we need to look at it from a positive, life-affirming point of view.

How to turn your life around at 50

Instead of thinking that life as you know it is over and it’s all downhill from now on, stop and look around you.

Look at all of the amazing women out there who are 50+ and who are having the time of their lives. Literally living their best life and enjoying every moment of it.

The women who have taken on new challenges, who have stepped outside of their comfort zone and gone for what they want out of life.

The women who have broken down the social barriers to ageing and who have dared challenge the old representation of what life was like post-50.

Look at the women who have decided to make their 50s and upwards their best decades, who have embraced pro-ageing rhetoric and are out there doing everything that they want to do.

That’s how to cope with turning 50!

From the way they dress to their hobbies and past times, their belief in themselves and their desire to live their life their way, regardless of how society tells them they should look, think and act.

These are the women to take inspiration from because these are the women who have decided to embrace their lives and live!

Turn your attention to the positives that getting older presents to you and you will discover that you have a totally different attitude to turning 50. You will begin to understand that instead of feeling lost, what you can actually do is uncover a whole new You!

Follow these 17 tips to help you cope with turning 50:

1. Take stock of where you are right now and see all the positives, not the negatives.

By the time 50 comes, you will no doubt have achieved many things. You will have completed your education, married or have a partner, have a family, have an established career, and had many life experiences.

Up to this point, your life will probably have been very full and rewarding.

Many have the attitude, that once the big 50 comes along life is over, that from now on, everything starts to go downhill.

Why should this be the case though? Why would life start to deteriorate now?

Take stock of all the things that you have achieved up to this point and be proud of yourself and then ask yourself what else you would like to achieve.

2. Plan some new goals

What would you like to achieve post-50? Start setting yourself some new goals and ambitions to take you through the next stage of your life.

This will highlight just how much living you have yet to do and that the fun and adventure don’t stop at 50. Harry Bernstein published his first book at the age of 96, and the famous painter Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until she was 78.

There is no age limit on goals that you can set yourself. Plan what you want to do and then do it, Don’t let age be a barrier to completing your goals and reaching your dreams

3. Get Fit and Healthy

Our fear of ageing often comes about due to illness and being unfit. Any aches, pains and stiffness can result in us feeling older than we are, slowing us down and making life harder to cope with.

As we age we are going to have some health issues, unfortunately, that is a fact of life but there are many ways that we can regain control of our health.

Following a healthy eating plan and exercising will make sure that we are doing the best thing possible for our health.

The food that we put into our bodies affects not only how we look but how we feel, so nourish it with lots of fruit and vegetables, whole grains and pulses, lean protein, cut back on sugar and processed foods, quit smoking, limit the amount you drink and have plenty of water.

Exercise will not only make you move better, but it will improve posture and the way that you look and will also boost the feel-good hormones that are released.

Try mixing up your exercise routine to incorporate cardio, stretching, and weight-bearing sessions. A good mix of different exercises will stop you from getting bored and will be more beneficial in the long run.

It pays to invest in your health now to ward off problems as you get older.

Make sure that you attend any health appointments and keep track of what is going on in your body, if you notice any changes see a professional.

4. Keep your mind stimulated

Our minds need as much exercise and stimulation as we age as our bodies. A healthy, stimulated mind is key to ageing.

We do get more forgetful as we age, women especially as we go through menopause, thanks to the drop in estrogen.

Keeping an active, stimulated mind can keep you younger for longer.

Whether it is doing sudoku, crossword puzzles, embarking on a new hobby, learning a new language or reading, keeping the brain active is a great way to help feel younger and avoid the fear of ageing.

Keeping your mind stimulated can also be a great social activity, chatting with friends, visits to places of interest, and further education classes can all stimulate your mind and increase social interaction.

5. Live in the moment

So much that we fear is based on future predictions that we make. What if this happens……? What if I can’t….? What will I do if…..? This is no way to live and is only going to increase the fear of ageing.

We need to stop this crystal ball gazing, nobody knows what is going to happen in the future.

Of course, we have to plan for certain scenarios but we also need to live in the present moment and enjoy it.

Too many people look ahead and see problems and misfortunes, situations that may never happen. What is the point of doing this?

It only makes us unhappy and fearful of the future. Far better to live in the now and enjoy what we are doing on a day-to-day basis.

Don’t stress about the past or worry about the future when the only thing that we can control is the here and now.

6. Make a list of all activities in life you would like to try

Sit down and write out all of the things you would love to do in your life. A midlife check-in of what you would still like to experience.

This will highlight to you just how much living you have in front of you and how much you still have to achieve in life.

7. Be aware of the emotions you are experiencing through a journal

A healthy mind is just as important as a healthy body so start an emotions journal so you can keep track of your thoughts and how they are making you feel.

You can often have a thought that makes you feel a certain way without challenging it to test its validity.

Writing in a journal will help you to stay on top of how you are thinking and will aid in you developing great emotional well-being and a more positive mindset.

8. Be courageous take big steps in your life

By the time you reach 50, what are you really afraid of? If you are honest with yourself, you will no doubt have tried and failed at many things up to this point and yet you are still here and still trying.

This should prove to you that you are more than capable of taking those big, courageous steps to get what you want from your life.

9. Develop the practice of self-care

Make sure You look after Yourself! Women can be particularly bad at looking after themselves especially if they have other people to look after. Make sure that you devote some time each week to a self-care routine. Do whatever works for you.

It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t look like everyone else’s as long as it is something that makes you feel great and helps you physically and emotionally to recharge and revitalise.

10. Do not impose limits on yourself

Never, ever tell yourself that you can’t do something. Never put limits on your achievements.

Have total, absolute belief in everything that you set out to do. A positive attitude is a winning ingredient in whatever goal you set yourself.

11. Design a New 5-Year Plan

Plan your future. Don’t leave anything to chance. Decide where you want to be in 5 years.

What do you want your life to look like, what will you be doing? Getting it all down in a plan means that you are paving the way to bring the future you want into existence.

12. Look at the people you surround yourself with

Have a quick check-in with the people you surround yourself with. Do they help you or hinder you? Do they support you and help to build you up or are they constantly looking for ways to bring you down?

It sounds harsh but you need to remove yourself from people who aren’t on your team, anyone who isn’t going to support you and cheer for you from the sidelines.

It sounds ruthless but if you want to achieve your goals and live your life your way it needs to be done.

13. Get active don’t just think and plan

Don’t just sit and think about getting fit and active in your 50s plan it and get out there and do it. Your physical health is the most important currency that you have, it will pay dividends in the future if you really look after it now. Age is no barrier to great physical health so stop making excuses and get fit and active.

14. Do more of what you love in life

Evaluate what you are passionate about and do more of it. Your 50s can often be a time when you have a bit more time at your disposal to do what you want to do so make sure that it is something that you love to do.

A passion for life is one of the best ways of staying young mentally and is good for physical and emotional health.

15. Declutter your life possessions

If you don’t use it or don’t need it get rid of it. It can be amazingly freeing to get rid of clutter from your life and can be very emotionally cathartic. Much of the clutter that fills up our lives makes us depressed and feel negative emotions towards it.

View your 50s as a time to trim down your life, and get rid of clutter that isn’t serving you.

16. Organise your day

Organise your day so that you have time to spend doing something that you love doing and that makes you feel happy. Spend some good quality time with yourself. Plan activities that are going to lift you, meeting up with friends, exercising or hobbies.

Having a well-organised day gives you less time to sit ruminating on issues that don’t make you feel good.

17. Enlist a life coach to change your thinking

Life coaching can be an amazing investment for anyone who is feeling lost in their 50s.

Working with a life coach can highlight areas to change and they can give you tools, tips emotional support and understanding to really plan and bring about change in your life.

Final Thoughts

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. This quote from Wayne Dyer perfectly sums up ageing. Change how you perceive it, from something negative into something positive. Instead of looking at ageing as losing time, look at it as gaining wisdom and experience.

Think of everything that you know now, that you didn’t know at thirty. Think of all of the experiences that you have had up to this point, that you never even dreamed of at 20.

Life is full of surprises. In the years to come, you will have done things that you never even thought possible and you will have enjoyed aspects of your life that you never knew existed.

The future is before you to be lived and enjoyed.

Take a step back from what society and social media say your life should look like by the time you reach fifty and instead live your life your way.

Don’t go into the future with fear, and feeling lost, instead embrace this new chapter of your life and everything that is still to come.

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