How do I cope with my life after retirement?

Many people approaching retirement will be filled with joy at the thought of never working again but there are many others who will find the transition very difficult and will be looking for ways how to stop feeling lost after retirement.

Retirement is often seen as being a time in life when you can start to kick back, slow down and take your golden years easy. If you have worked full-time until your retirement, the thought of being able to do what you like when you like can be liberating, to say the least.

Why then do many people struggle when they retire and find it a difficult transition?

Retirement can come with many new adjustments to life, and this is where some can find themselves feeling lost as they start to negotiate this new chapter.

Whether you are retiring with a partner or whether you are a lone retiree, there are hurdles to negotiate and plans to set to make the transition from your working life to your retirement happy and stress-free.

Some people may find it an easier transition to retire in stages, cutting back on the number of hours they do until they retire fully, whilst others are ready to just jump into full-time retirement. Everyone is different, you need to find what works best for you.

Whichever way you come to retirement you need to make sure that you have some plans in place so as to make your switch from working to not working as smooth and stress-free as possible.

What are the five emotional stages of retirement?

We will all have many emotional changes in life and retirement is one of them. Starting school, leaving home, getting a job, getting married or settling down with a life partner, starting a family, these major life changes can all bring many emotions to the fore that can set challenges in our lives.

As with any major change in life, it takes time to adjust and settle into a new routine. A new retiree has to familiarise themselves with their new life, how it now looks, what they are going to be doing on a day-to-day basis, and what their lives now consist of.

This can all be broken down into 5 different emotional stages;

1. Pre-retirement. This is the stage just before retirement when you are counting down the days. You are likely to start feeling mixed emotions at this stage.

   The realisation that you will be leaving work colleagues many of whom may be friends. You may begin to feel some trepidation as to what the future holds, you may feel a little daunted about the future and how you will spend your time.

2. Honeymoon Period. The day arrives and there could be feelings of excitement, you are now free to do whatever you want whenever you want to.

   You have unlimited freedom and choice, no more alarm clocks, commuting, or meetings, your time is your own.

   The stress of working is now over and you can be in this stage for 1-2 years, reconnecting with friends and starting new hobbies, everything seems wonderful in this stage.

3. Disenchantment. Retirement doesn’t seem as rosy now. Disappointment can set in at this stage and people can begin to feel disenchantment with their retired life. It hasn’t lived up to the hype and many people can be left feeling lonely, bored and depressed.

4. Re-orientation. This emotional stage is about adapting to the new situations in your life and navigating a way through that works for you. This is where you may decide to set yourself some new challenges, start some new projects, get involved in voluntary work, and rediscover your purpose in life.

5. Stability. The final emotional stage of retirement. You should now find yourself settled and ready to live the rest of your life. You should have adjusted to your new reality and be content with the life that you are living.

Why do people get depressed after retirement?

People can become depressed when they retire because of the huge life changes that they go through.

Leaving a job they may have loved, a sense of purpose, and leaving friends and work colleagues can all have a real emotional toll on health and well-being.

There is also the added financial pressure that some people can find themselves in once they have retired which can bring about depression.

Other people can become depressed due to their lack of status once they have retired, especially if they held a position of responsibility. Lack of a routine and daily structure can also cause depression in others.

There is also the realisation that they are in a stage of their lives where they have more limited time, which can be a depressing thought for many if they start to dwell on it and don’t occupy their time.

What are the statistics for depression after retirement?

• Depression affects around 22% of men and 28% of women aged 65 years and over, yet it is estimated that 85% of older people with depression receive no help at all from the NHS. ref https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/mental-health-statistics/older-people-statistics

• Half of adults aged 65 and over have experienced common mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, according to the charity Age UK

• The most common mental disorder in older people is depression. Nearly half of adults (7.7 million) aged over 55 say they have experienced depression according to YouGov research for Age UK.

How do I cope with my life after retirement? 21 Tips

1. Acknowledge how you are feeling

Don’t hide away from your feelings if you are feeling lost. Trying to mask how you feel won’t help. You need to acknowledge how you are feeling and then make positive steps to change.

2. Have an organized schedule for your day

If you are feeling lost and lonely in retirement, you need to make sure that you have an organised daily schedule.

Waking up and an empty day stretching before you won’t make you feel better, having goals and activities planned will give you a much better frame of mind.

3. Keep yourself active

Having an active mind and body can help to keep a lid on feeling lost. Sitting around with too much time to think is never going to be good for emotional health. Make sure that you keep your mind and body occupied.

4. Develop a set of entirely new goals

Think about a whole new set of goals to complete when you retire.

Try and make it as different from your old working life as much as possible. Are there places you would like to visit, books to read, and hobbies to begin with? New goals can give you a fresh outlook on life.

5. Change your retirement mindset

Did you have a retirement mindset? It could be that you expected something from your retirement that hasn’t materialised.

If this is the case then change your mindset and start looking at your retirement in a different way.

Life can always be changed and should always be altered if it’s not working for you.

6. Work to increase your powers of resilience

Don’t let your life start to get you down become proactive in it instead. Instead of seeing problems, look for solutions.

Figure out what you want from life and then go after it. The more resilient you are in your life the more content you will be.

7. Accept circumstances that are out of your control

There are always going to be circumstances in life that are beyond our control and this is just as true when you retire.

If something happens that wasn’t planned and you have no control over it then you will have to learn to accept it and move on. If you can’t change the circumstance, the only thing that you can change is your attitude to it.

8. Think about how you can create a new you

Look at retirement as starting over, a new chapter where you can become a new person. Think about all of the things that you wanted to do when you were working and start doing them now. You can create a new version of yourself by stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something different.

9. Boost your social connections

One of the reasons people can feel lost when they retire is that they miss their old work colleagues. This is something that can be rectified by starting to boost your social connections.

There are many groups that meet up online and in person where you can expand your social circle.

Think about the hobbies and interests that you have and look to join groups with like-minded people.

Never forget that there will be a lot of people in the same situation who also looking to meet people.

10. Consider part-time or volunteer work

There are many organisations that are looking for retired people to carry out part-time or voluntary work. You may feel that you still have a lot to give and so this could be an ideal fit for you. A lot of people discover that part-time work whether paid or voluntary gives them the perfect balance in their retirement.

11. Take up a new activity

Don’t just sit there ruminating on your old life, get up and get active in your new life.

Walking, gardening, swimming, historical groups, whatever takes your fancy, get involved and get active. It’s a great way to meet people and fill up your days.

12. Reignite an old interest or pastime

Did you have an interest or hobby that you had to stop because of time commitments when you were working?

Now is the ideal time to start it up. Reconnecting with past interests is an excellent way to spend your time and can help you to develop new connections and a new lease of life.

13. Consider the benefits of pet ownership

Have you thought about getting a pet? It may not have been a practical option while you were working but once retired, pet ownership can be a lifeline for many people. Apart from the company and focus at home, owning a dog for example gives you a real excuse to get up and out every day and can help you to meet up with other people as well.

14. Join a walking group

Walking groups are an ideal way of spending time when retired. They tick many boxes such as exercise, which is good both physically and mentally.

They are a great way to socialise and they are an ideal way to set dates for your diary. Many walking groups can extend to walking holidays as well.

15. Learn to relax your mind through meditation

If you are feeling lost and depressed, the simple practice of meditation can have a very restorative effect. It is a great way to stop over-anxious thoughts from filling your mind and can help to soothe and relax you.

16. Be more grateful for everything you have in life

Look at your life and see all of the things that you have to be grateful for. Nobody’s life is perfect but we can all find things about our lives that we should be grateful for.

Gratitude helps you to see the bigger picture and can help you to realise just have much you do have which can put a different spin on your thoughts and feelings.

17. Improve the quality of your sleep

Try to get good quality sleep, it is amazing what it can do for your emotional well-being.

Although as we age we don’t tend to need or get as much sleep as we once did, we all require good quality sleep to maintain a healthy mind and body.

Try not to nap too much during the day so as not to disturb your sleeping patterns at night.

18. Perform activities to stimulate your mind

It is just as important to keep your mind healthy as your body during retirement. Perform activities that are really going to stimulate your mind. Join reading groups, and undertake classes at FE colleges or online. Join quiz groups or other activities that will keep your mind fit and active.

19. Have a nutritious, healthy diet

You are what you eat so if you want to be healthy and happy make sure that you fill your body with healthy food that is going to serve it.

Try to avoid too much-processed food, alcohol, caffeine and others stimulants. As we age the body has more trouble digesting certain foods so try and stick to a simple healthy diet.

20. Develop your creative side

It could be that you have an untapped creative side that could be discovered during retirement.

Many people discover a talent for drawing, painting, sculpture or gardening when they retire. Tap into your creative side and see what you discover.

21. Take a break and change your immediate environment

A change of environment can work wonders on your emotional well-being. Taking a short break away from your normal routine can help you to recharge and give you a new perspective on your life.

Final Thoughts

If you are looking at different ways how to stop feeling lost after retirement then try following the tips above and see the difference they can bring. It is possible to make your retirement one of the best chapters of your life.

Take on this chapter as a time to be able to do all of the things that you have wanted to do but were unable, set yourself new challenges and get out there and start living. That’s what life is all about.

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